Taipoo with B
(Written by: Simon Lai, around 2001)
Hey folks! Nimen hao! (Not sure if that’s actually the correct greeting but…)
I’m a little suprised by the sheer number of 7/11 convenience stores they’ve got here. There’s one on almost every block…sometimes two (one across the street from the other)….and they don’t have “Slurpees” here!!! Surprisely efficient is the tram system here compared to Vancouver’s Skytrain. It comes every few minutes. It’s also totally clean and there’s no panhandlers here.
The night markets here are lotsa fun….lotsa deals….lotsa food. Although the “Corn Dog” incident didn’t fare well with N. The past few days he’s been having an intimate affair with the toilet. B’s gonna write a book on “Pristine Public Washrooms - Worldwide edition”. He’s kinda afraid to use the washroom at C’ so he’s been holding it until he finds a public one….one that’s so clean he can eat off of. He’ll probably kill me for saying this but he got this rash between his crotch the other day. I was wonder what all this “scratching” noise was while everyone was sleeping. I’d keep hearing “scritch, scritch, scritch…..ahhhhhhhh…..scritch, scritch, scritch.” Anyhoo…..so he goes to see this so-called doctor (like the character Dr. Nick Riveria of “The Simpsons” cartoon) who diagnoses the problem and then consults his nurse who looks all of 18 years of age…..”What should I do???” N and I are convinced he got a shot of estrogen because B’s been acting a bit more feminine lately.
We also went to this public nudie hot springs resort on Sunday. Elliot (C’s roommate), N and I were OK with it but B was deadset against exposing “Mr. Jingles”. He was willing to pay for a private room for him and the girls to share but it turned out to be a tiny dark room and the hot spring “pool” was the size of a garbage can. The 3 of us didn’t fare any better because the public “pool” was only slightly larger and we had to wait in line amongst 30 or more naked guys. The waiting room/hallway was so narrow that everybody was scrunched so close together….your “shlong” would be touching the fella’s butt in front of you. Anyhoo….we didn’t stick around.
I’ll fill y’all in on any further “Adventures with B” later.
Filed under: Taiwan
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